One More Day

Tomorrow is my last radiation treatment. In the evening, after our almost-daily walk, Kelly will be treating me and Avi to ice cream at Fenton's, an ice cream fountain nearby famous for helping Cal freshman gain their 'freshman ten.'

I am working on getting off all the extra drugs that were added to my regimen during cancer treatment. First to go will be Dilaudid, now that I no longer need it. Next is Ativan, then I'll lower the dosage of Trazodone which I had been taking for several years in order to be able to stay asleep all night.

Today Avi and I hung out at the mall, and tonight we are going, sans Kelly, for a long walk with Bella. Tomorrow I have treatment and a therapy appointment in the afternoon, then on Wednesday I can get up early and make my way to Mill Valley to work.

One more day . . .

Heshy's going to Auntie Camp

On Monday afternoon Heshy will be leaving for Palm Springs to spend most of a week with his aunties. They will be taking him to their vacation rental at Big Bear, where they keep their boat.

This weekend has been so nice, Heshy's behavior almost above reproach. Avi is back now, they are busy watching Food Network.

After my long day at a barbeque birthday party in Woodside, 50 miles away, I forced myself to go walk with Kelly. I'm exhausted but happier having had the exercise.

A note from another survivor

My friend Kayla, who is also a cancer survivor, sent me this info:

"Ya know there's a group at the women's cancer resource center for post treatment folks. you are almost qualified! Anyway you might want to go and meet the folks. they meet 2xs a month. Your delicate state is very common post treatment. being a brave warrior melts away at the end of treatment and then nothing makes sense anymore. Some people came to the group so depressed - people who'd never been depressed before and didn't know what it was! I think there's a slow turn over, so you can get to know people. it's not a psychological group as in group therapy. it's a support group as in constructive bitching and moaning! seriously though, it's nice to talk with people who've been through cuz not everyone understands. And you get to make really sicko jokes about the whole thing if you wana! try that at Kiddush (actually you might get away with it cuz people knew you before you were diagnoised, but when i forgot what context i was in an cracked a dark joke about my cancer i immediately regretted it!)"

Hearing about how other survivors deal at this point is extremely helpful to me, and I'm going to follow up on this support group to see if it will help me too.

I'm not managing so well right now, lots of quick tears and vulnerability. I'm just trying to hold on until the ride comes to a complete stop, then I'm thinking it'll be time to fall apart a little so I can cobble myself back together again.

Radiation Rash

That's what I've got now and it's driving me nuts. Apparently radiation given daily can cause a rash which is red and itchy and bumpy and spreads to other parts of the body. The folks at the radiation center mentioned this might happen, and suggested using hydrocortisone topically. They also said that they will prescribe something stronger if needed. It's needed now. When I go for my treatment in the morning I will get just such a prescription. After tomorrow's treatment I have only 2 more to go. Yippee!

The boys are here. Avi goes to his friend in the city for a long weekend, and on Monday Heshy flies by himself (for the first time) to auntie camp down south. So I'll have a couple of days alone with Heshy, then a few days alone with Avi. We're all looking forward to the time we can spend this week with each other, without the boys together.

Four coats of primer

And now I will blue-tape the whole thing and start to paint it yellow.

Last night when I was walking with Kelly I noticed that the fairly steep grade of upper Trestle Glen doesn't feel quite so hard to do as it did when we started.

Still feeling lousy, chewing on it all day and wondering why this is so hard to take.

My friend Armin is over right now assembling the new desks, bless his heart.

Now to find the blue tape.

Indigestible

That's what I'm feeling right now, that something I've swallowed isn't digestible. I'm talking about the feeling in my stomach that is still with me 3 days after someone ignored my pleas to stop talking about Marshall in front of me. My therapist suggested that maybe this person has not accepted the fact that Marshall and Ihave split up. I kinda want to avoid this person because I know if I try to tell him that he hurt me badly, he'll come back with more reasons to justify what he did. It's not really actually possible for me to avoid him, seeing as how we are in the same community and live in the same neighborhood. Maybe I'll send him an email first, I just have to do something about the fist in my stomach.

I'm considering ending the blog. My treatment is almost over . . . and all the excitement is about to end. I'll be sure to write in my blog when it will be the end of the show, give some warning.

Back to painting. A black built-in bookcase in my kitchen has already sucked in 2 coats of primer and it needs one more, then I will paint it a soft yellow.

Heat survival techniques

Mine from yesterday was to use my gift cards from Beth & Bath and Target, thereby spending serious blocks of time in the stores where the air conditioning was working just fine. By the time I got back home it was time to nap, and I was able to do so, thankfully. Kelly and I decided to take a night off from walking, and tonight hopefully we'll be out on the streets again. I checked out how far I'd gone on Saturday, one thing and another, and to my surprise I had walked over 4-1/2 miles!

On Saturday a friend of mine told me that Marshall had gotten into a loud altercation with someone at the early evening surface (thank goodness I wasn't there to witness it) and another friend added that there was a first loud altercation on a nearby street earlier in the day right in front of my children.

I wish no one had told me any of this. I feel tied up in knots about knowing this stuff at all - not that any of it was a big surprise - and while Marshall's actions are certainly no business of mine anymore, it worries me that this sort of thing is happening. And some of it was in front of my kids, not appropriate behavior for a grown man.

It's all been on my mind ever since these stories were told to me, and tomorrow I plan to discuss my strong reaction with my therapist.

But there is a nagging issue left open - why in the world would anyone force me to listen to a story like this? When the first friend started up with his story, I asked him to stop, no really stop. He justified not stopping by saying that I need to know about it in case anyone should ask me.

NO. I don't need to know about anything having to do with Marshall, unless Marshall chooses to tell me himself. I prefer not to be in the loop, if anyone else should try to tell me bad stuff about Marshall, I'll just leave the room and not allow anyone to hurt me that way any more.

Beyond too hot

Walking to services, just across the street, was enough to get me too hot. After services I walked with a couple of friends to lunch at one of their homes, and when we got there we realized that the inside was actually cooler than the outside. It was quite comfortable, not to mention that the food and the company were great, but walking back home . . . all I can say is that I've been home for almost an hour and I haven't stopped being too hot.

I am hoping to get a walk in before my evening plans, there does seem to be a decided breeze through the kitchen, even though the handy thermometer say 95 degrees.

Spending Shabbat with friends is what helps me to feel like a real part of this community. Hot or not, this is the place to be.

90 degrees at 6pm in my kitchen

Here I sit, ready to go have Shabbat dinner with my friend Liz and her adorable daughter, and something is making me stop and be fully present. Or else it's the freakin' heat, hard to tell.

I have plans for every block of time between now and late tomorrow night. There are several people among those with whom I have plans that I have not spoken to on a one-on-one basis for quite a number of months.

I feel so relaxed, so calm. My friend Judy in San Francisco drove all the way over here today to take me to lunch, she's a doll. Another one I hadn't seen in months. She spoils me, I love it. Maybe next time I'll cook something interesting and we can eat lunch in my little kitchen. And then walk. Or walk first. She likes to walk, even though her knees give her some trouble.

Religious Jews do not get their haircut during the three-week period of time before the holiday of Tisha B'Av. Google the holiday, you can learn all about it. Anyway, I had to cut my hair, it had grown out of the cute, short, Nicki Gilbert look and I was beginning to resemble a poodle. I found a wonderful guy at Supercuts in Berkeley, he knew just what I wanted and executed it with ease. I do believe I'll stick with him for (what needs to be) my monthly haircuts.

Have a wonderful Shabbat.

Trying to nap mid-day

I have to have a solid nap each day. It's over 80 in my room, so the windows have to stay open for the occasional breeze. I have a soft black mask over my eyes, and I'm really tired, but going to sleep and staying asleep for an hour or so is nearly impossible. Heshy was banging his arm rythmically on the wall above the sofa - the other side is my room, of course. There was a loud discussion right outside my window (I'm on the top floor, so no worries for my involvement or safety) . . . somehow today I think I slept 15 minutes.

Again Avi's computer is in for repair. He's been back to Apple for covered repairs/replacement something like 30 times or more since his bar mitzvah, when his laptop was brand new.

The fact that my radiation oncologist told me I have less than 10 treatments to go, for some reason, is making me uncomfortable. I was riding along in the process, making sure I arrived on time and cooperated with the technicians. I was trying NOT to think of the treatment in terms of how few days were left. Now that he brought it up I can't get that countdown idea out of my mind. I'd rather he'd not said it. Oh well.

Walking on this beautiful night

Kelly was feeling ill yesterday, so no walk, which was just as well because I needed to go to sleep early. Tonight we walked 2.5 miles and faster than we had last time, so I feel sweaty and well-exercised.

My boys and I went through 3 whole gallons of milk since last Thursday evening! I am about to go get some more . . .

Heshy and I bought a grill pan yesterday, so today I used it to make grilled cheese for lunch. Now that was delicious, and the grill marks made it feel like panini.

The radiation oncologist reminded me that I have only 9 treatments left. Yea!

The boys go back to their dad tomorrow.

Tired

Didn't get my nap today, I'm heading into my room for a short nap now before Kelly comes.

We just went to Ikea and bought the boys' desks. Tomorrow after Avi schleps all the boxes up the steps, I'll find someone we know who feels like being helpful to put them together.

My therapist is away on vacation this week, she was clear about having backup (in the form of a therapist in the same suite) but for the life of me I can't imagine a situation that would require an immediate session. Thank goodness everything is going extremely well for me.

One more thing - Heshy had left a cute note downstairs for Hunter to come up and play. Mariah, his mom, just called to say she'd found the 'adorable note,' and the reason Hunter has not responded is because he's back with his dad right now. So no playmate for Heshy in the building at the moment, but one of his classmates also called while we were out and he's now on the phone with her.

HOT

I just got back from a lovely walk with Kelly, climbed the steps and got hit with hot air! Even though it's nice and cool outside, perfect for a real walk, the cool has not entered the house yet.

Last night was really the first time we entertained in our new home, the boys and I. Several friends came over, a couple of them with their kids, and we attached the mezuzah to the doorpost. Before and after that stirring moment we sat, crowded into my living room, eating cookies and pretzels. The best part was that a couple of friends stayed late, and we had a great time telling our stories.

Getting chores done

Not surprisingly, Heshy has tried the can't-do-it-right-anyway approach to avoiding chores. In my place there is no dishwasher, so we have agreed to take turns doing the dishes. Again I had to hold Heshy's hands while we put away the clean stuff from the drainboard, washed the dishes, etc. By the time the dishes were done we were both pretty frustrated, but I am bound and determined to get these boys to take household responsibilities seriously.

It's almost time for my nap, and I feel like I just woke up. I am about to wash the floor, as soon as Avi leaves with Bella for their walk.

Shabbat was lovely, but it was after midnight by the time Heshy and I got home, hence no blogging on Saturday at all.

Heshy has a new friend

Hunter, who lives in the apartment below us, is 7 and going into 2nd grade, but he's a big kid and doesn't look like a 2nd grader. Heshy met him today, finally, and Hunter invited Heshy to go swimming at the Claremont Hotel today. As it happens, Hunter's mom, Mariah, has a sister who is the nanny for two nice girls, and they have a summer pass to the Claremont Pool. Off the four kids went today, and they had a blast.

After they got back Heshy and I had a small Shabbat dinner together (he marinated the chicken, it was incredibly yummy), and now Heshy is back downstairs playing Monopoly with Hunter, his auntie, and another adult friend of the household.

I'm so glad they hit it off, and I can't tell which boy is more excited about the friendship.

This afternoon I had a two-hour nap while Heshy was swimming, and now I can't wait to go to sleep, but I am waiting up until Heshy is finished with the game and comes back up the rear steps.

Heshy pointed out to me earlier that I've lost 8 lbs. since I've moved here. That's swell, I wasn't even really making a point of it. I think one of the things that helps me not eat after dinner is that I make sure the kitchen is completely cleaned up after dinner, and I hate to spoil a nice clean kitchen with snacks.

Tomorrow Heshy and I will get to services at the very beginning . . . and afterwards there is a kiddush brunch sponsored by our friends Ginna and Edward in honor of their recent wedding, Edward's birthday, and the ritual first-cutting-of-the-hair-at-three event for Isaac. The upsherin, as it is known in Yiddish, will not take place tomorrow, but we can celebrate with food any old time. Marshall put together this kiddush this week - I think he and I might just be willing to take over the obligation of making it happen when help is needed. We are both so capable and willing, it should be fun.

Shabbat shalom.

Just got up from a nap

I hate sleeping during the day, I always wake up feeling strange. But I am tired enough to require the nap, so it goes.

I saw Rachel, the breast care coordinator at Kaiser, and she has arranged for my disability income to continue. Thank goodness, because there's no way I could go to work right now.

I am having a Chanukat Habayit, or dedication of the house, this Sunday evening. We'll be placing the mezuzah on the door, it's a short ceremony, and according to Jewish custom (law?), it needs to happen within 30 days of moving into a new home. (I moved on June 25.) The cover for the mezuzah travelled all the way from Venice for me, Steff brought it home from a recent trip. It's incredibly beautiful - special Venetian glass.

Last night Kelly and I walked 2.75 miles, including the trip up Trestle Glen from Norwood to Park Blvd, which is a decent grade all the way through. It's so nice to walk with someone else who loves to talk, and her dog is adorable and has the time of his life with new smells and new lawns to investigate.

The boys come back tonight, and then Avi will be going to his best friend Asher's this Shabbat. I know that Heshy really enjoys having a parent's complete attention, and that is just what he'll get from me from Avi is away.

Speaking of miles . . .

Today I drove to Hayward for radiation, then to Mill Valley to work with Penny. Four hours later I drove from there to Walnut Creek to pick up a prescription, and now I'm home. I've been sitting for a looooong time.

Other than being tired (I plan to put my head down for an hour until it's time to walk with Kelly) I feel ok. When I started to walk after being in the car for 90 minutes straight, believe me when I tell you my legs hurt. The trick is to keep moving, so when I'm really walking for exercise I try not to stop at all if I can help it.

Time to go put that stinky stuff on my skin. It works, I just wish it didn't smell so darned awful!

Three miles tonight

Kelly and I have decided that we will walk together, along with her adorable dog Zari, every evening we are both available. The walking was good, even though she can take the hills faster than I can.

And we talked, some fluff and some serious stuff. What a treat for me to be able to connect in a meaningful way with someone outside of my community!

I contacted Rachel, the breast care coordinator at Kaiser in Oakland, and she has agreed to put the extended disability forms through on my behalf. Thank goodness. I will stop by with the form sent to me with my last check, and then soon, I hope, money will come.

Tired in the morning, tired at mid-day, asleep on the couch at 4. Somehow I have to find a way to integrate the tired part into my day without feeling like there's stuff I should be doing. I keep remaking my to-do list, and I did get a couple of things done today.

Working in Mill Valley tomorrow, and this time there will be no rush since the boys are not with me. I'm hoping to take in a literary reading in Corte Madera in the early evening. I guess some napping in the car is in order.

When I saw the landlord this evening he asked me how I'm doing, how I like it here in my new place. I told him that I love it, and that's the truth.

I always had only two speeds

My two speeds were fast and stop. Now I have a third speed - slow. Today I couldn't drag my ass out of bed when I awakened early, I dozed for another hour or so. And after I spent about 2 hours doing errands I was completely wiped. I rested after lunch and then went to the supermarket, schlepped the bags upstairs, put everything away and then really went to sleep on the couch. Ever since I've started exercising in a real way (we're talking since January, '05), I've been unable to take naps at all. I love being that energized. But now every time I put my head down I fall asleep.

So THIS is what folks were talking about as a side effect of radiation. Hmm

My leg pain has increased, and my most recent dose of Dilaudid was 3 pills instead of 2. Still doesn't kill the pain, but it's better than before on only 2 pills. All day long I've been thinking about going to yoga, but when I am still for a long moment my legs are so stiff. I know this would make yoga excruciating.

Yesterday afternoon I did some yoga on my living room floor. Some stretches and stuff. It felt great having the sun and the breeze in on it too. Very life-affirming.

Today I spoke to one of my neighbors, Mariah, who has a 7-year-old son named Hunter. We got to talking about work and she asked what I do. She wondered if I was a stay-at-home mom. I told her I'm on disability, and when she asked the nature of it, I told her I don't feel comfortable talking about it. (Believe it or not, I did not overshare this time!)

She said, "It must be serious," and I agreed, it is serious.

It's a big step for me not to introduce myself as, 'Judith, the one with breast cancer.' Of course I am in remission at the moment, but I am still in treatment.

I also wanted to avoid having the landlord know the nature of my disability, because he might get freaked out and try to find a way to end my lease so he doesn't get stuck with me not being able to pay while I'm busy dying. Listen, this is exactly what people think when they hear cancer. Both June and Fran lost dear friends recently to breast cancer. You can understand the reaction. I used to react that way myself. Now I know better . . .

Cable guy didn't show up, how shocking. Oh well, I'm not going anywhere, if he shows up way late I'll still be here.

About the nasty-smelling ointment I apply to my skin every day, several times a day - I noticed that certain areas of my skin were getting red like a sunburn, and that's how I know the stuff really works. Because I didn't realize those areas were included in the radiation treatment, I didn't put the ointment in those spots. The places where I DID shmeer the ointment are tan, not red.

Tomorrow will be the 11th treatment out of 25.

Meditation works wonders

and who needs the red nose, anyway . . . but today I am exhausted, honestly cannot hold me head up much longer. This sort of fatigue is not a part of my life. It reminds me of the fatigue that goes with the first trimester of pregnancy. All encompassing, I am so tired I feel sick to my stomach and cold. So I am going to bed right now.

Last night's walk in Glenview

When the sun began to set last night I headed out the door for a pre-mapped and measured walk (check out gmapspedometer.com) and headed up Park Blvd. I walked all the way to Trestle Glen, pretty much the end of the houses on Park, and then back down Trestle Glen. Along the way I passed many of my friends' houses, with their Shabbat dinner underway and lots of friendly Shabbat-appropriate noise. Along about 5 blocks into Trestle Glen I suddenly realized that I had to pee, I mean really PEE - it must have been all that iced tea I drank yesterday afternoon. At that point I realized that my friends Shmuel and Tonda live right around the corner from my location, so I walked as fast as I could, knocked on their door, and requested use of the facilities. They were happy to see me, and as it turned out they had just gotten everything ready for Shabbat dinner and asked me to stay. It was wonderful. The food was great, the talk was irreverent (just the way I like it) and there were lots of laughs. Then Tonda walked me home, hung out with me and we had a chance to talk privately.

When I said goodbye to her as she went down my steps, I realized that the evening had gone much differently that I expected and that it was truly wonderful. Two-and-a-half mile walk, and dinner too!

This morning I was surprised to discover that I'd slept until 9:30 - over 8-1/2 hours, which is a waaaay lot for me. I got ready, walked to services, and at the kiddush (the small meal we have after services) I had a chance to talk to lots of people. One man, whom I've known since our kids were in preschool together, brought me to tears. He said that when his parents divorced it was hard to accept, but soon he began wondering why they hadn't split up sooner, that it seems much better for a child to grow up with divorced parents than ones who can't make the marriage work. When he saw the tears in my eyes he gave me a little sideways hug, which only made me cry more. A few minutes later I had a chance to talk to my rabbi, who is leaving tomorrow to join his family in Israel, and again the tears were falling.

I don't know exactly what made me cry, and the feeling is still with me somewhat, several hours later. I feel guilty for not figuring out a way to make it work with Marshall, even though I know deep in my heart that it needed to end. I stayed with him so much longer than I should have because I thought it was best for the kids to have both parents together in the same family/household. So I also feel guilty for putting them through this mess after so much time of struggle, that I should have done it sooner.

Okay, now I do realize that there is no point to feeling guilty, since I was absolutely doing the best I could and walking around with regrets is NOT productive. There's still this nagging problem of what if.

I adore my kids, I was disappointed not to see Avi today (a muscle cramp kept him home) and glad to see Heshy, but I'm not pining for them. I'm not usually so emotional, although I think if I let the tears flow I'd feel much better after.

I think I'll meditate soon and try to clear my head. Or else I'll cry really hard and end up with a red face, a stuffed nose and a headache.

Friday afternoon

I am stuck inside now until 6 (at least) waiting for the Comcast cable guy to show up and install my cable TV. I've spent the whole day going and going like the Energizer bunny. I had radiation treatment, I bought a small table at the Salvation Army store, I shopped for and prepared the food for the nosh we get after services tomorrow (the one for everyone at services), bought a lamp, schlepped stuff up the 32 steps to my apartment, and now I'm drinking iced tea and figuring out which thing I'll do next. My goodness that was a very long sentence.

Happy Birthday Kelly.

I'm relaxed and feeling just the way I should feel when I'm preparing for Shabbat.

Shabbat shalom.

The boys' first week with me

They just went back to their dad tonight. I also just figured out why my computer wasn't providing access to the internet. I somehow fixed it (actually I think I even remember how) so I am back on daily.

My disability payments just ended. I am going to contact my doctor and see about having an extension. If not then I will be working more, but not always schlepping so far away.

OK, so how did the week go? Well, I adored having the boys close by. They were comfortable in their beds, on the sofa, in the kitchen, everything felt cozy. Not having cable TV (long story, it gets installed tomorrow) was trying for both kids. I've tried to keep them busy, and many walks were taken, most of which included Bella. Speaking of which, Bella was hysterical trying to get settled in. Poor dear thing, she has no idea of what's going on. I will be spending some evenings walking with Kelly and her crazy dog who acts like he'll bite your foot but only wants to be petted.

I am remembering how many people have suggested that I stay active as much as I can in order to fight the fatigue which is part and parcel of radiation treatment. I am really moving around a lot, and I think I will make plans on Saturday afternoon to walk to visit someone.

Anyway, Heshy seems to be having a much harder time of it than Avi. He is vocalizing constantly . . . and if you know Heshy you know he loves to talk. Now when he has nothing to say or it's just quiet, he'll make noises with his mouth or hum or something like that, ALL THE TIME. I don't think he has a great deal of control over it. I had a check-in with his therapist and told him all about it.

Here's how I feel about being here: There is nowhere I'd rather be. I miss the kids and wish I could see them everyday, of course, but the time apart is not painful. This feels like home to me.

This Shabbat will be my first alone. I wonder what I'll do about dinner, and I guess I have to say kiddush (the prayer over the wine) myself. It doesn't feel bad to say, actually. It might turn out to be quite wonderful.

Internet issues

Internet issues have prevented me from writing daily. Good things have been going on, the boys are trying to settle in. Leg pain continues and so does the medication for it.

I am now tan where the radiation is being directed. The goopy Ching Wan Hung, a highly-recommended Chinese burn remedy, is being shmeered on by me after each treatment but no, I am supposed to put it on three times a day. Oy, the smell is somewhere between barbeque sauce and wasabi. Yech.

Oncologist's appointment

Today at 4:20 I saw Mike, my oncologist, in Walnut Creek. My blood pressure is as close to normal as it gets, I'm still heavy (and probably will be for the rest of my life, dammit), and everything looks good. I'll see him in another 3 months.

My therapist told me she was moved by my descriptions of how I am handling the children and the times they don't get along so well. In other words, she showed me that I am, indeed, putting the children first, and they are equal in my eyes - you screw up, you hear about it.

Avi will be making pasta tonight. Still haven't washed the car.

Mike reminded me to keep exercising, and I'm going out for a walk right now.

Quiet and peaceful

Well, except when Heshy gets excited over something and uses his very-high-pitched voice. I'm sure everyone in this building AND the building next door is already tired of his screeching. We are working on having that a lil toned down.

Bella is confused, peeks into every room before entering, was hiding under my bed before. She's nervous, I'm sure - as long as she's lived with us, 2+ years, it's been in the place I just left. She's still going to be there half the time, that is until Marshall decides to move. She is the one in our family with no ability to process the splitting up and backing and forthing. I'm sure she also misses the garden where she could have access to chill or to do her business anytime. She gets walked a LOT more here.

Still unpacking, still forced to use the cannabis and Dialudid combo to be able to relieve the continuing pain in my legs. Thank G-D it those two work together so beautifully, otherwise I'd be in bed all day, no kidding. Of course I only get pain relief, no euphoric response.

A piece of furniture I just bought 2nd-hand is being delivered this afternoon. The manager of the non-profit shop is a friend of mine, and I know this stuff comes from the best households.

Everything so much easier here, I don't know how to explain it well. Things are working correctly and I get to decide, along with the boys, what we'll be eating each meal. Now that I've been drinking 3 glasses of milk a day (see the Milk Board's ads) we go through a LOT of milk.

I am calm, I am extremely relieved and happy. Time to wash the car - I have two helpers, it should go quickly.

No oven just before Shabbat

Not that it was upsetting or anything, but when I tried to turn on the oven to cook dinner last night I discovered that there was no pilot light lit for the oven when the range was moved back into place after the tile work was completed. Soooooo, the boiled chicken was because that was really the only reasonable choice. Now that the pilot light is lit, thanks to Tarek, the manager of my building, I can bake again. I forgot how warm a small kitchen can get when there are three pilot lights on all the time. The good old days . . .

The sanctuary at our former synagogue in San Francisco was almost packed today. I saw many, many old friends and acquaintances and brought them up to speed with my doings. One gal, Susan, told me, much to my surprise, that she reads my blog regularly. I'm always pleased to hear that people care and keep up.

The after-services open house was wonderful - one family hosts each and every week, providing food if there wasn't any after services (today there was a huge buffet) and comfy couches and lots of board games. I had a chance to really talk in depth with a few special friends. If I was still living in San Francisco you can bet I'd be there every week. And the house was waaaaay cool, so many interesting architectural details and fixtures. I had a blast just checking it out.

Got many hugs and requests for a reappearance. And so the week begins.