halfway through chemo today

And I met with Mike who agreed that I may be facing 2 operations - one soon after chemo ends which will be a mastectomy and then after radiation, the second to reconstruct my breast. And then in the fall I'll be going to Prague, Vienna and Budapest, which Mike went to with his partner and loooooved it. I have my old friend Robert in Budapest.

So that's my goal. I feel calmer now.

Shabbat shalom.

The picture changes

I just got an email from Veronica, my surgeon, who explained that since she's recommending radiation therapy after mastectomy it will limit my options on reconstruction. Well, slap me across the face. I have written back asking about what that means: will it be reconstruction later or NO reconstruction at all. Not quite what I've been expecting, and for me emotionally this is an enormous setback. Funny thing is that I'd just written to Mike, my oncologist, to ask about how it all fits together, wondering what to expect.

It's one thing continuing on with my life with a new breast which may look fine under clothing and weird without. It's altogether something else to have a breast on one side and nothing on the other, I can't even think about.

I'm starting to hyperventilate and tear up, this is not good. Yes, I'll be halfway through chemo tomorrow at this time, which is good. But being the organized person that I am I thought I had it all figured out. Stupid me for reading up on things, now my whole plan is up in the air and I'm hysterical.

scary

I just spent the last 45 minutes reading at breastcancer.org about radiation therapy which for me will follow surgery. (This Friday's chemo infusion marks the halfway point on chemo.) I have no fear of the radiation or what it will do it me in terms of side effects, BUT . . .

The other night when I was at a Joel & Juliette's for latkes I saw my old friend and cancer survivor Marilyn, who informed me that radiation treatments are done on a daily basis for weeks. This came as a surprise to me. I had not done any research on radiation, happily leaving my head in the sand about it. Clearly that needed to stop.

Every weekday for 5-7 weeks. And the place Kaiser uses is in Hayward, which is at least 20 min. away. And I can't miss a treatment.

So, according to my estimates, I'll have surgery some time in March, there will be a 6-week recovery (this is a wild guess) and then on to radiation. This takes us to the end of the school year.

OK, upside: I will have a new bustline which is purported to be one that will not sag. Tissue, fat and muscle from my belly will be used to make the one new breast I'll need. Anything removed from that area will be a welcome change. And I will live to 100 being ornery and tickling all the babies.

Now the downside doesn't look so bad. I'm handling chemo OK so far, after surgery I'll start feeling a little better with each passing day (G-d willing), then radiation won't hurt but I may get crusty skin out of the deal.

Deep sigh. I feel better now. Pray for fewer bad dreams.

gray day

I woke up today feeling well rested, relaxed and comfortable. That feeling stayed with me all morning, and it was delicious. The boys took turns hanging out in my bed with me. Marshall fixed me a yummy breakfast, and I ended the morning with a hot bath.

One thing that's getting on my nerves, however, is that without the help of weed I'm just not hungry. It was 3pm when Heshy asked for lunch, and I realized I needed to eat something nutritious since it would be 3+ hours until dinner. It took me 40 minutes to finish a small salad with chicken in it. Even with the weed. Without it I just wouldn't have eaten at all.

On the other hand . . . well, I can live with the side effects of weed, tee hee. But it does make me tired, and more tired I don't need.

This morning I discovered that Avi has grown about 1-1/2 inches in the last month! And the corners of his moustache are getting thicker.

Latkes and old friends

Latkes are potato pancakes fried in oil, a traditional Hanukkah dish. Best when eaten fresh from the frying pan with the smell of frying oil still in the air and covering every inch of the kitchen and your clothing.

Yesterday on our way to the annual Hanukkah party of certain friends of ours, I was in a rotten mood and honestly didn't want to go - annoyed at the late departure from home, suffering from almost chronic heartburn, not delighted at having to drive into San Francisco for the second time in one day, having taken Avi to his best friend Asher's overnight birthday party.

As soon as I entered Joel and Juliette's house and smelled that familiar cooking oil everywhere my mood lightened considerably, and things improved rapidly for me. There's something about being with my old friends from my shul (synagogue) in the City that relaxes me, I don't know quite how to put it. As the evening progressed and folks with little kids left, it was just the few of us that I knew well who were hanging out together, talking, laughing, eating, reminiscing . . . and I knew I could just be me.

Many years ago when we were living in the City and saw these folks all the time, I came to the conclusion that the reason we all fit together so nicely is because all of us are delighted not to 'fit in' with the larger mold, the expectations of others. In other words, we're all a little bit odd and proud of it. And we all love each other for our unusual parts and for the fact that we don't really WANT to fit in.

It takes years to develop these kinds of friendships, so we're just getting started on new ones in Oakland. It's the older friends I saw yesterday who encourage me to be me, just strange, irreverent, potty-mouthed Judith. As I hugged each one goodbye and repeated the 'great to see you' to each one, I felt so happy and relaxed and comforted and loved.

And I only ate two latkes, imagine that!

Loveliest Shabbat

The cholent (meaning traditional, long-cooking bean stew and pronounced with the ch like in children) was extraordinary yesterday at lunch. Even though Marshall is becoming, by his own admission, something of a compulsive cook, there are times when the benefits outweigh everything else. Not only the cholent, but the split pea soup with freshly toasted croutons, and MY homemade challah, well, it was just heaven.

Since last week I'm walking around with a tension headache pretty much all the time. And my neck is tight, and this morning I discovered that I'm grinding my teeth in my sleep which is helping to cause all this discomfort.

I feel like I'm trying to keep all my balls in the air at the same time - staying as healthy as possible so the chemo can work correctly, being upbeat and positive for my kids, trying to keep the bills paid with very little money coming in, lots of other balls large and small. The times when I really want to curl up in a ball and float down the river of denial are few, but . . . sometimes just forcing myself to rest is exhausting. I can't sleep during the day at all except right after a chemo infusion, I run out of things to do in bed that are interesting (get your mind out of the gutter, people), and I'm just plain bored a lot of the time. But I don't have the energy to entertain others, I don't have the peace of mind to just meditate, and I don't have the strength to do much else. Dammit, this is hard and it's not even half over.

My next infusion is on Friday, 12/30, and Rona will be taking me. Pray for patience and peace of mind.

It's down to the Shabbat wire

When our Sabbath begins we have to be finished with the cooking. This week it's like 4:35 when we have to stop, and that's less than an hour from now. Our helper who cleans on Friday did a fabulous job today, the house is spotless, I have challah rising that Heshy and I made, Marshall is setting up cholent, a traditional bean stew that cooks all night, this one has meat in it. We are having company for lunch tomorrow, close friends all, and the cholent smell will be filling the house until we eat it. mmmmm

Ellen the yoga teacher stopped by today with an adorable hat, so soft against my tender scalp, I have it on still. It' so nice of her to think of me. And she reports that the folks in the yoga class ask about me every time. Warm hugs here.

Tomorrow is the last injection of the magical drug called Neupogen which helps my body produce white blood cells. My blood work results are excellent. I have to inject it myself from days 3 to 9. Verrrrry carefully.

Time to iron now. Pray for a peaceful and easy Shabbat for all. And to those who celebrate the birth of Jesus, have a wonderful Christmas.

If not for my disabled placard

I'd have been soaked to the skin today. While I sat in my Mill Valley office I watched buckets of rain pouring down on the square. It took me almost 2 hours to get home in the mess, with flooding everywhere except the bridge. I rented 7 movies and tonight we watched Polar Express with the rest of the family (it's awesome and imaginative, forget the Christmas part), and the a Judi Dench/Maggie Smith movie called Ladies in Lavender which delivered exactly as expected. Tomorrow I plan to make a bunch of challah (traditional braided egg braid) for the Sabbath.

I feel just fine except for the extreme lack of energy. I WANT to do so much, I just can't, and some days just dealing with everyone in the family can be exhausting.

Today Heshy discovered my stash of New York Times Book Reviews and took it upon himself to compile a list of unfamiliar words from the reviews. He will then look up the words and, believe me, begin to use them himself. For eight years old he has a remarkable vocabulary. We told him awhile back that we got Emma started doing just this when she was young, and now she's a print journalist with her own amazing vocabulary and fluency with our language. Heshy can be such a handful that these moments simply MUST be cherished.

Pray for a little less rain.

The wondrous tub bath

I'm not a bath girl at all. The last time I remember having 2 baths on 2 consecutive days was waaay back when I was 21, living in a tiny, nasty, cockroach-and-water-bug-infested 1 bedroom apartment near Rittenhouse Square in Philadelphia. Little did I notice when I rented the place that it had no shower. Every day I battled with the permanent residents of the bathroom to get bug-free time to bathe as quickly as possible. I shudder when I think of that place, but with no college education and a work-a-day job it was the best I could afford at the time.

In fact, when I recently hired a new person to clean our place for us I mentioned that we don't generally take baths so the tub would be fairly easy to clean each week, no serious scrubbing necessary.

Yesterday I was having a short pity party and wondered what I could do for myself to boost my spirits. When Sheila was here a few weeks ago she brought me lavendar washing gel and body cream. So I drew my bath, first making sure that no one else had need of the facilities right away, and I dripped some of the gel into the running hot water.

As I slipped my body into the luxurious warmth of the tub, inhaling the scent I love so much, I relaxed fully for the first time since this ordeal started in October. Of course these days tubs are not nearly big enough for a full-size person like me to immerse completely, but just like a marinade I turned myself over and moved around to make sure that every surface of my skin got kissed by the steaming hot water.

And today was day two of the bathing experience. I wonder what it would be like at night with candles? Or soft music? Or is that just all hype and the point is the immersion? Whatever, I know I feel soft and relaxed and pleasantly scented, it's a blessing.

As I dragged my ass out of bed

With really no excuse to stay in bed, after all. I'm not feeling bad, per se, just not feeling my usual vitality.

So I made a deposit at the bank, added my new vehicle to my insurance policy, ate something (don't ask) at a drive-thru and serviced my new car at a drive-thru, too. Pretty smart, huh?

After less than 2 hours out of the house, the majority of which was spent in the driver's seat of the car, I'm home and ready for a nap. The boys are flying in this afternoon and Harriet is picking them up. The weatherman says heavy rain and strong winds, and for the first time I'm worried about the flight. I keep reminding myself that the equipment is being run by professionals, yadda, yadda, yadda, but my kids are on that plane.

I hate scary stuff.

All I do is sleep

which is a huge improvement over the last two times. I have no discomfort in any part of my body except one - when I'm asleep I have horrid, frightening dreams. Nothin' I can do about that.

It's so very quiet in my house today. Every so often Stella starts to whimper because there's nothing she can do for me. Marshall is basically silent unless he wants to ask me about food. The boys are away, the phone doesn't ring. Kinda eerie. Bella follows me from room to room because she needs to know where I am all the time. Click click click go her nails (claws?).

Better living through chemistry

I must have found just the right combination of drugs, because I still don't feel rotten today, just very tired. This is 1000 times better than the first two rounds, thank G-d.

Airport, chemo . . . a full day on Friday

It was harder than I expected it to be, putting my two babies (8 and 14) on a plane without me or another real adult. Avi called when they landed, he knew I was worried.

Walt took me to chemo . . . while he didn't flirt incessantly, he couldn't keep his eyes off certain women in the room. Oh well, at least I won't have to ask him again.

I expect to feel the real fallout of this chemo infusion in a few hours, but I think I have enough medicine to get me through with as little unpleasantness as possible. My plan is to sleep as much as possible. Three days of sleep. OK, I'll eat and pee and shower, but nothing else.

Pray for the medicines to work.

Dreading tomorrow

Well, not really the chemo infusion, that goes fairly smoothly. Deb was supposed to join me but she got a cold, so Walt will take me. But I know that on Saturday after lunch I'll start to feel really shitty again, like I'm being poisoned. There will not be any relief for that feeling until it passes on Tuesday mid-day. The boys will be at auntie camp, so I won't need to worry about their needs this time, but still . . . I hate the just-after-chemo feeling. To say I'm dreading it is not exaggerating at all. Maybe this time I can sleep through most of it and just get out of bed to eat, take my medicine and pee.

I'm beginning to get used to the way my head looks without any hair at all. It's rather amazing what a difference this makes in my looks - suddenly you can see my face and not all that hair around it. Heshy still insists that I not show him my bare head - 'wear a hat all the time now, Mom,' is what he says to remind me that I'm showing it to him.

Stella, Marshall's auntie who lives with us, started to whimper before I even showed her. As if the baldness shows how very sick I am. But I don't feel sick at all today . . .

Yesterday my friend Judy came over before dinner for a walk with me. It was refreshing to talk about stuff other than my illness . . . I kinda wish people would be willing to treat me like they used to, tell me their stuff, good and bad. It's as if I've BECOME the cancer, and everyone just wants to focus on me. Folks, my stuff gets boring, tell me about YOU. Honestly, I want to know.

Tonight Liz will walk with me from 9-10, then tomorrow morning I take the boys to the airport, and then . . . chemo.

Shaved my head

This morning I awakened before dawn and decided it was time to take off the hair that was still hanging on, which looked completely awful. I took a fresh blade, wet down my head, lathered it up, and got started. I've done everything I can see, and Marshall is still working on the back. Avi was not shocked, I gave him a warning and the choice to not see. He chose to see, said it was cool. Heshy also chose to see my head, then gently reminded me that I'd have to wear a hat on my head all the time now.

I like the way my face looks without hair. Now I'm all eyebrows. I imagine they'll fall out too, but I will not be in a hurry for that to happen.

No genetic mutation

and that's excellent news. Now I know that only my left breast will be removed, and Kaiser covers reconstruction along with work on the other breast for symmetry.

Sapped energy

One can never know how their body will react to chemo until it has happened. Some of the survivors I've met have told tales of constant nausea and vomiting, intense lack of energy to the point of being bedridden, and general bad memories of the whole process.

The nausea didn't happen this time, and shouldn't happen at all according to the chemo nurses, so I've dodged a huge bullet on that one. But I find that even a few hours of activity, not walking or shopping activity, just paperwork, will exhaust me completely. Right now at 8:30 in the morning I'm fresh from the shower, dressed, sitting on my made bed and looking forward to a lunch out with Walt. But I know that I must nap from 1-3 if I'm to make my appt. today and pick up Heshy afterwards at school.

I'm trying to use all of my positive energy during my physically-energetic times, and it's making a huge difference in how I interact with people. When I called Heshy's school just now, Noel, the office manager, asked how I'm doing and I could honestly respond with "I'm having a great day today."

The pace of my life was, and will again be, quite busy. Up at 5:15, out of the house by 6:15, a whole day of working and then dinner and hanging out with the kids until bedtime at 9ish. Somewhere in there I also managed to get my walking done. Now I'm too exhausted to consider walking much.

Maybe today I'll wear lipstick and a cute hat.

gray day

For a few hours this morning I worked in Mill Valley, and it felt good to be productive, but my ability to concentrate waned as the morning wore on. Thank goodness my warm, fuzzy blue blankie was waiting at home - as soon as I got in the door and had a nosh I put my head down and wrapped myself in its coziness, promptly falling asleep.

Tomorrow afternoon I will learn about the results of the genetic testing that was done a month ago. Stay tuned.

Ambitious plans

Considering that I've been not quite right for 24 hours I decided to stay home tonight. My friend Lior brought over a beautiful brown silk scarf she made for me, and she was the one who helped me decide not to go when she heard about my plans. She said, 'Ambitious!' and I realized it was dumb to try to push it.

So I called Deb and asked her if she'd give up her evening to join my family at the Ballet. The performance begins at 7, I'm disappointed but want to feel safe.

I look great in all black

Or so I was told a number of times today when I went to services. I feel like I must sound nuts, going from 'feel like crap' to 'feel great' in a short time and then back again and so on. But for me the good days are really wonderful, and each day that passes, good or bad, puts me one day closer to the end of this bad time.

The only residual side effect of the chemo that I'm experiencing, other than alopecia, is dry mouth and a metallic taste in my mouth. Kinda takes the fun out of food, oh well.

I told Heshy the other day that the hair loss is called alopecia, and when we view it that way as a simply a temporary side effect with a name, and that alopecia happens to other people for other reasons, it's easier to swallow. He liked that idea.

My sister has invited my boys to visit her in the desert for a long weekend next weekend, the beginning of their winter break. We call it 'auntie camp,' and their two aunties always plan lots of fun and lovin' and shopping during camp time. It might make this post-infusion time easier since I won't have to take my sons' sensibilities into account, meals can be when I want them, etc. Plus now I have Ativan which will help me sleep better when I feel rotten.

I have decided to go ahead and get the medical marijuana card so I can purchase items at a dispensary that do not require smoking in order to have the positive effects of the cannibis. It's amazing what's out there to buy - I recently was given a cookie made with canna butter, and not only was it delicious, the appetite-inducing effect lasted hours longer. I hear there's a tincture one can put under the tongue, there are candy bars made with oils laced with cannabis. The smoking part is getting old. This should be very interesting, and I look forward to seeing what's for sale for folks like me.

I plan to go for a gentle walk this evening with Marshall. I need to keep moving my body, and I'm clearly not doing enough.

Tomorrow night I'm taking my 3 guys to see the SFBallet Nutcracker. Years ago, when I was single and wanted to be able to see the ballet without paying for the tickets, I became a volunteer usher with my friend Holly. The deal was that each usher had to commit to a certain miminum number of performances of the Nutcracker in order to be an usher for the regular season. (I hear they've revamped the whole production recently.)

Holly and I would dress up in all black, grab an early dinner, and show up to work. One day we read in the newspaper that the American Ballet Theater performance scheduled for that evening would have a substitute for the male lead in Giselle. Since the regular guy was out, and the understudy was also unavailable, it would be Baryshnikov who would dance the lead. At that time he was already a bit long in the tooth to be dancing that role, but dance it he did. Every usher showed up for work that evening, we were 12 to a door instead of 2. When the house lights dimmed, the orchestra began to play and the curtain was raised I was mesmerized in a way I've never been before or since.

As he took the stage I held my breath, and when he flawlessly performed the leaps which so define this particular role, I could not stop the tears. Even writing about it now gives me goosebumps.

Pray for continued high spirits.

Dressed all in black

which is not a sign of my mood being bad. Actually, it means I feel great - I love the way I look in black.

Last night as I was hanging out in bed with Avi and Heshy the doorbell rang - it was Liz, my Thursday-evening-go-for-a-walk friend! Quick as a flash, I was dressed and out the door for a very easy 1-hour walk - I think we went 1 whole mile.

I'm trying a new cleaning lady today, Kristi, she's hard at work right now. I'm sitting at the dining room table surrounded by papers, bills, lists, checks, you name it. Working hard, feeling wonderful . . . maybe I'll take myself out to lunch!

Pray for a pleasant sabbath for me and my family.

My ears

I never much noticed my ears before today. As I see my reflection in the screen of my laptop I realize that my ears stick out. Not a pretty picture. It's upsetting knowing that being out and about without a hat while my hair is almost gone will bother others, especially children. Last night I stopped by to give food to Edward, Ginna and Isaac in their new place (moving in the rain sucks) and little Isaac didn't even recognize me. boo hoo

I am thirsty all the time, but maybe I'm just suffering from dry mouth and not really thirsty. It's kinda frustrating, since I can never seem to get enough to make my mouth wet for more than a moment.

Nothing in my body is working the way it used to. I could always count on being warm in any weather, I am now almost always cold, even in a hot shower. I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted with no ill effects (other than 'stinky noises') and now certain foods just don't agree with me. My skin stays dry no matter what lotion I use, rye toast causes sores in my mouth, arrgh.

All that said, I feel kinda OK. I was able to work in Mill Valley for a few hours today, but lacked the energy to drive to San Rafael and visit Lisa. I finally got my personal stationery order and wrote a few thank you notes (thanks, Mom, for teaching me to do that), but now I feel like I could veg all afternoon and evening with no trouble at all.

This just isn't like me. Yes, I understand that my body is going through an enormously stressful process, but I'm not the kind of person to sit and sit and sit. And I don't care much for TV, either. Thank goodness for the internet.

Bored, slightly anxious ('I've got a pill for that'), annoyed at all that needs doing but which I can't do.

On the other hand, and G-d knows for me there always is another hand, I'm 25% through the chemo, my kids are having their needs met, I'm not terribly uncomfortable at the moment, and I'm awash in good wishes and kind prayers. What the hell am I complaining about?

Pray for continued good health.

On the way to better

Avi just reminded me that I didn't post today. No worries, I'm fairly well recovered from the chemo last Friday. Drove my new car today, it's cool, nothing terribly exciting. I need to take Heshy to Costco to pick up his new glasses. The boys will be going to auntie-camp, probably, from12-15 to 12-20, a blessed break from the frikkin' chemo routine.

My head looks funny

Even the boys say so. I resemble a baby hawk - soft, dark fuzz on top. I feel like I've just gotten a haircut - you know that no matter how careful the haircutter is there will always be those stray short hairs in your shirt collar? That's me.

Today around noon I became very agitated, so I wrote to Mike Russin and asked about a sedative. He said this reaction is very common, he prescribed Ativan, and it seems to help. I still don't have a ton of energy but I don't want to be sleeping all the time.

I got a bedrest so that when I am in bed I can sit up and type or write or watch tv in comfort. I haven't had one of these since I was a kid, they're fun!

I hope to get to Marin on Thursday, if I feel well enough, and sort through some things for Penny's monthly billing.

Mostly I'm just hangin', trying to eat right and drink enough and tell my kids how much I love them and my plans for their kids - like "Hello, I'm not going anywhere!"

I still haven't seen or ridden in my new (to me) car that Sheila purchased over the weekend. It's an Acura Vigor, 5 cyl., 4 door automatic, white I think. The Honda Odyssey we had for six years needed its third transmission, so we're going to beat down Honda's doors and try to see what they'll do for compensation since they sold us a true lemon.

Can't hurt to try.

Last night when I was suffering, feeling truly sick and blue, I sat myself down and said the following words over and over: 'Please G-d, help me wake up in the morning feeling better.' Just repeating those words aloud helped to calm me down in a way I never expected. So when I woke up this morning and did, indeed, feel a bit better, I said, 'Thank you, G-d, for helping me wake up this morning feeling better.'

G-d hears all our prayers.

shedding

Here's what I don't get - why is the hair on my head falling off like nobody's business but the hair on my legs staying put? yet.

feeling ever-so-slightly better today, but not much. By tonight, perhaps, I'll be out of bed a bit. Bored shitless, no mental energy at all, can't even read the paper.

still in a fog

sleeping all the time

no nausea

but I feel strange, can't concentrate on anything, can't take too much noise or movement.

I feel good dododoDOdo (james brown)

Other than fatigure and that nasty metallic taste in my mouth, I feel fine. Honestly. Of course last time at this juncture I felt well enough to walk for an hour with Cindy.

Sheila is out buying a used car for me, my cash and her used-car-buying experience will mean we have a new (to us) car here today. The Honda minivan has tanked again, 3rd tranny in 6 years. I may have the energy to communicate with Honda next week about it, but meanwhile renting a car for Marshall to drive is not a long-term solution.

So if the new one is nicer than the Honda I drive, he'll have the Honda.

Cholent, for those of you unfamiliar with it, is an old-timey traditional Jewish lunch dish which cooks all night (in a crockpot at our house) and has beans, potatoes, barley and, in most cases, meat. And lots of flavoring. Ours has red wine, soy sauce, lots of garlic and other veggies. Our house is filled with the incredibly mouth-watering smell of cholent, so while Marshall and the boys are at services I get to sit here and inhale, mmmm. He has promised to drag healthy folks home to us for lunch from shul. At least he and boys can have fun, and if I feel well enough I'll join them.

Edward, Ginna and their son Isaac were her for dinner last night, we were 9 all told. Marshall made a feast, as usual, and we all ate too much. I started to fade after dinner and went to bed, all the while enjoying the sounds of the people in the house going about their business. While it could have been annoying it was quite the opposite, really comforting.

My hair is easily removed from its roots now, but not actively falling out on its own yet.

Looking out the window I see that the wind, rain and nature have removed all but a few of the big persimmon leaves from the tree, leaving a couple of dozen ripe persimmon exposed on the thin branches. They are as high as my window, which means waaaay too high to harvest. If they had thoughts, what would they be?

Pray for strength - remember, 25% of the chemo is finished.

A brisk, perfect day

Sheila and I were back at the Merritt today for breakfast, made a stop and then returned home while I interviewed a person to clean our place. We headed to Walnut Creek way early, ate lunch at an incredible pan-asian restaurant across the street from Kaiser. It was hard to decide what to eat, every single thing on the menu looked wonderful.

When we arrived at the infusion center and met today's infusion nurse, Anne, I mentioned to Anne that we would like to be able to set up my laptop and watch a DVD on it with earbuds. She found us the perfect spot, and once the chemo was started Sheila and watched (and enjoyed) The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, but before too long the infusion was finished and we packed up to go home.

During our stay in the infusion center Anne came to us with a big smile and a big shopping bag and offered me a choice of handmade scarves. Nice volunteers knitted and crocheted beautiful pieces, and the one I chose was the loudest one of the bunch. . . .about a yard long, narrow, and the yarn is wild. It looks like a snake with strands of hair and ribbons throughout in shades of purple, green, blue, yellow, mostly purple. I am wearing it around my neck and plan to make a habit of it.

I feel wonderful and strong. Pray for continued good health.

Sheila has landed

and is now driving up 880, thank goodness she missed the downpour earlier today.

I'm feeling fine, strong, healthy, etc. I had fun sitting in the window of my office in Mill Valley watching the rain, it felt like a safe place to be.