scary

I just spent the last 45 minutes reading at breastcancer.org about radiation therapy which for me will follow surgery. (This Friday's chemo infusion marks the halfway point on chemo.) I have no fear of the radiation or what it will do it me in terms of side effects, BUT . . .

The other night when I was at a Joel & Juliette's for latkes I saw my old friend and cancer survivor Marilyn, who informed me that radiation treatments are done on a daily basis for weeks. This came as a surprise to me. I had not done any research on radiation, happily leaving my head in the sand about it. Clearly that needed to stop.

Every weekday for 5-7 weeks. And the place Kaiser uses is in Hayward, which is at least 20 min. away. And I can't miss a treatment.

So, according to my estimates, I'll have surgery some time in March, there will be a 6-week recovery (this is a wild guess) and then on to radiation. This takes us to the end of the school year.

OK, upside: I will have a new bustline which is purported to be one that will not sag. Tissue, fat and muscle from my belly will be used to make the one new breast I'll need. Anything removed from that area will be a welcome change. And I will live to 100 being ornery and tickling all the babies.

Now the downside doesn't look so bad. I'm handling chemo OK so far, after surgery I'll start feeling a little better with each passing day (G-d willing), then radiation won't hurt but I may get crusty skin out of the deal.

Deep sigh. I feel better now. Pray for fewer bad dreams.