Kicked Dilaudid

On Friday I decided it was time. When I got up I just stayed home, read the paper, etc., and didn't feel any withdrawal symptoms, so I did not take any more Dilaudid. I'm so happy to be off that drug, I can't tell you.

I am delicate, vulnerable and crying easily. I am trying to be authentic with my feelings and not pretend that everything's OK. Perhaps this approach will help me feel better sooner . . . but in any event, this is what I'm feeling.

Last night I went to the service that welcomes Shabbat. I haven't been to that particular service in any synagogue in years. Luckily my friend Ray was nearby to show me where we were in the prayerbook, and I was able to keep up and stay with the other congregants during the prayer service. It felt good to begin Shabbat that way . . . I think I may do it again. There's something very comforting about being in the sanctuary, even if I can't articulate it well. Having the shul right across the street helps.