positive things

first, I finally have an appointment for the 90-min. massage which was a gift to me from my yoga friends. That'll be next Wed. And I have an appointment to see Dr. Horkin, the plastic surgeon, who will answer all my questions I hope. That appt. is next Tuesday.

As I sit here trying not to hyperventilate (how my anxiety presents itself) and being forced to take medicine for that, I'm slowly crawling out of the just-had-chemo shell of mine. If I see any more gray days I'll just scream.

Still freaked out at the prospect of walking around with only one breast for a number of months. G-d, that will look awkward and weird I think. People will have that scared-but-can't-look-away thing going on when they see me.

So the first four chemo infusions are done, and everyone says they are the worst part of the ordeal. The last 4 infusions will be 4 hours each, with much less dramatic side effects. Trying not to focus on the shitty part of anything . . . but it's damned hard.