Strength, courage, healing and hope

All the changes and plans and appointments and tests are exhausting, a lot to take in all at once.

Two things happened today which were timely and wonderful. As I was leaving my Mill Valley office at 11 I decided to go into a charming gift store a few doors down and buy myself a treat. Much to my delight, I found all sorts of chotchkes (knick knacks) that interested me. Soft and gorgeous scarves, a fascinating array of clocks, high-end silver jewelry (remember, we're still in Mill Valley), and everything was so expensive. Just a little something . . . and then I happened on a small box with metal disks - clearly meant as an impulse purchase, right by the register

Each disk had its own unique shape, sorta round, sorta flat, and each disk had an inspirational word on it. I chose 'strength,' 'courage,' 'healing' and 'hope.' As I was arranging to pay for these small trinkets I asked the clerk (maybe she was the owner?) if she had a small fabric bag I could also get. Explaining that I'd just been diagnosed, I will get a little hysterical at times and need to have small things I can manipulate - and I need something to carry them in. Not only did she find a small drawstring bag for me, after I'd paid for my purchase she picked up another small disk from the display and put it in the bag as well. It's got an angel in relief on it.

Now I have 5 small disks to manipulate and use for visualizations. Already I have held them and concentrated on their words and images - it was a good thing.

The number 5 in the Jewish tradition is significant - there are 5 books in our Torah, our bible.

Later on, after dinner, I set up my ironing board for my usual Wednesday evening ironing session. I had the window open, a pile of wrinkled clothing and the radio in my room set to 102.9, KBLX. Heshy came and hung out with me awhile (he likes to watch me iron), and then he went into the shower. Just as he was turning on the water I heard a call-in contest being announced on the radio, so I called in.

(I have a history of winning a lot of stuff on the radio - the most recent prize being Neil Diamond tickets which I promptly gave away.)

I got through once and was not the winning caller, so I called right back. When the DJ answered the phone herself I knew I'd won. And this time there would be no giving away of tickets - I won two tickets to a performance of the San Francisco Jazz Festival at Masonic Hall in San Francisco on Saturday night, 11/5, and forgive me I can't remember the name of the performer, all I know is that he's famous for his jazz sax. Marshall is delighted, and, God willing, I will be well enough to go.

Lots of positive thoughts.

My friend Neska will be taking me to my appointment with the oncologist tomorrow. I'll know more after that. Scared . . .