A brand new day, clear and breezy

I awakened feeling much better about things, and I put myself together to walk to services. Sadly, by the end of the luncheon for the bat mitzvah I felt bad again, likely because the news of my separation and impending divorce had not gotten to some folks, and I had to tell them about it. Everyone I shared this with had kind things to say and offer, which I very much appreciate. But I wish the gossip channels worked a little bit better to help me avoid having to go through this conversation over and over again. Yes, I posted it on this blog, but I guess there are a lot of people who don't bother reading it anymore.

The walk home was completely exhausting, and I've been in bed ever since.

Good news, though. The draining is slowing down enough for the rest of the process to proceed. I should have an appointment on Tuesday or Wednesday for the sclerosing of the wound. When all that is done, I will then call the radiation people to get that show on the road.

The task of going through all our papers is daunting, but I have promised myself I will chip away at it every day until it is done. In the meantime, I'll be haunting garage sales and thrift stores to outfit my new home. When I stop to think about, I'm ecstatic about being able to set things up according to my own sensibilities. No longer will I face walls covered with art that Marshall and his first wife purchased. Now I'll be able to have whatever I want, or nothing at all, on the walls. I'm enthusiastic about the process of deciding how I'll live and how I'll spend my free time. I guess focusing on that side of things will keep my head above water, G-d willing, and I will proceed with my life.

Tomorrow we are all going to the bar mitzvah of the son of friends of ours, and I remember his mother at our seder table the night before she gave birth to him! I even helped to cater his bris. (A bris is a circumcision ceremony for 8-day-old Jewish boys.) Many of the guests and family members of the bar mitzvah are old friends, and I expect to have a great time. From this particular family I know the food will be great, and I really do love the bar mitzvah boy, he's very sweet and kind and friendly.

Holding on to the positive aspects of life with all my strength.