A fun day - even on the way to surgery!

I spent a few days before the lumpectomy visiting the dark place that makes me worry about my kids. It wasn't an every-minute-of-the-day thing, but periodically when I was alone and not busy I'd go there and quietly cry.

Big surprise on the day of surgery - I woke up feeling great, determined to spend my time pursuing my own brand of happiness. After taking the boys to their respective early AM locations, checking email and putting myself together, I left home on foot wearing the most comfy clothes I own. A special scarf Marshall and I had found years ago at a crafts fair was around my neck - woven of every bright color, with soft-as-silk fringes.

Off I headed down the street and toward my favorite local place to eat - the Merritt Bakery and Restaurant. As I sat down at a small booth and ordered my breakfast, I pawed through the contents of my backpack and arranged my ad hoc workspace. One side of the table held the food, the other side the work. I paid bills, organized papers, ate every bite of the food (and it was really delicious, as usual), then headed to BART with 2 hours (waaaay more than enough) to wend my way to Kaiser in San Francisco for the operation.

By this time the sun had appeared, and my walk around the shorter end of Lake Merritt to the BART station was glorious - if you've never seen the view from the Civic Center side of the lake, I highly recommend it. Runners and walkers of every possible age, size and ethnicity were out in full force. Some had ipods and others cell phones. Many exercised alone, some with their children and/or pets or companions. We all smiled at each other and acknowledged the beauty of the day and the location.

As I approached the BART station and pondered purchase of a one-way ticket (Neela from yoga would be driving me home after surgery), I reluctantly left the sidewalk, the fresh air and my beautiful city for the dark tunnel of BART. As luck would have it, the correct train was actually sitting and waiting for my arrival, or so it would seem, and after I settled in my seat off it sped to San Francisco.

Weather can be very different in San Francisco from Oakland, so I was prepared in layers for the possibility of cold, foggy and maybe even windy conditions. But my luck continued, for emerging from the BART station I found the sort of weather that walkers like me adore - sunny and brisk. The streets were filled with workers on their lunch hours, many of whom sat on broad steps near Market Street, soaking in the sun and relaxing. This setting had an irresistible pull on me, so down I sat. No one here knew me, and I didn't have to worry that a dear friend's worried face would intrude on my contentment.

I began my City walk on Post St., home to Villeroy & Boche, the Williams Sonoma flagship store, windows filled with gems, and highly polished young men and women. It had been years since I'd had the time and freedom to wander from jewelry store window to jewelry store window, imagining myself the owner of a fabulous new ring or necklace.

As the time for my appointment approached I found the correct bus stop on Geary, boarded the bus, and got to Kaiser with time to spare to find Cathy, another yoga friend, waiting for me as planned.

I can't imagine what thoughts were going through Cathy's head as I bounded into the waiting room, hugged her tightly, and began telling her about my journey to, well, get cut open. Feeling exuberant, remarkably optimistic, healthy, strong and wise put a spring in my step and a smile on my face.